In this part, Steve was suffering terribly from what he thought was kidney stones. He and his wife were discussing whether or not they should move to the jungle.
If I went on with my plan to spend a week trekking from village to village, I would be doing more walking than I had done since I was a mountain climber in high school. I would be sweating and drinking the whole way. But if I suffered another attack, I knew that I could also end up stuck out in the jungle with no doctor or medical help.
I really didn't know what to do. The only thought that seemed to tip the balance was this one: If God was intervening in our lives and wanted us to leave our home and career in favor of obeying Him in an undertaking that was at best uncertain and at worst a painfully futile exercise, we should probably expect some obstacles and tests along the way.
I wanted to give up and go to my U.S. "home" and a lifestyle that had become familiar. But I realized I feared living a safe but mediocre life even more than I feared suffering beyond the reach of help in the rain forest.
I decided to do the hard thing, which I've found is usually the right thing, and head back to the jungle.
What is the hard thing that God is asking me to do? I realize I too fear a life of mediocrity or a life that is void of meaning and impact for eternity.
Later Steve Saint says, "One of life's greatest blessings for me is knowing what God wants me to do and then being able to give myself completely and unreservedly to it. My time in the jungle had been one of those special times."
Lastly, this quote from one of the men who became as dear to Steve as his own father,
This life is only the opening exercise. The only fundamental, long-lasting aspect of life is deciding which trail we are going to walk in life. 'If we follow our own trail, at the end, where are we? But following Waengongi's [God's] trail, at the end we come to His place. He has made us a place where we all can live happily and in peace.'
The man who said this was one of the men who killed Steve's father.
Oh how deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure.